So, you’re ready to take a trip, are you? Having trouble picking a destination? Just turn on the travel channel, or get online. You’ll discover plenty of ideas, whether your passion is hiking, or just lazing around on a sandy beach or, maybe, you want to kidnap a friend and hit the open road, see where it takes you. Sounds great, right?
I have an idea, I would like to see a Vacation From Hell Review.
It reminds me of a story my friend once told me when he took a little trip to Acapulco, Mexico. You know, the Mexico just south of Texas. Hey, I lived in Avondale, PA for quite a spell, mushroom capital of the world, it was like a little Mexico.
And a smack down to all you mushroom lovers. We didn’t appreciate you stinking up our summers like rotten eggs. Assholes. 🙂 Love ya’.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, my buddy’s vacation from hell. Now, I wasn’t there, thank God, so I can only tell you what I remember from his story. Now, he’s a friend of mine, so I may have to muddy the truth, just a little bit, to protect his identity. You get the picture.
Okay, I’m pretty sure he did stay at a 5 star hotel but, never being satisfied with anything normal, he took a little trip off the beaten path, you know, the places they tell you to stay away from. He said he wanted to buy an “authentic” souvenir for his wife. Yeah, he’s a little touched in the head that way.
He gets robbed and beaten, of course.
What? Were you expecting something different?
They took everything, his money, his identification but, he picked up what was left of his dignity and moved on. Of course, in hind sight, it sounds a lot like a scene from “Desperado”. (Big Antonio Banderas fan.)
Wrong….You are a looong way from Kansas, farm boy.
This does have a happy ending. He did finally manage to get back to his hotel, and everything worked out as well as it could have.
So, how about it? are you ready to take that long, needed vacation? I hear they have a special flight to Poltergeist Island, where you’ll spend 5 luxurious nights at The Bates Hotel. They provide full amenities and intimate room service. An alternate use for soap on a rope, perhaps?
Wow, it’s almost 3 o’clock in the afternoon and I have no idea where I am. Is that normal?