I had a dream last night I found a checkbook on the sidewalk outside my house. The checks were blank, but they were signed by get this…Bill Gates. I was like, “Yes! Jackpot!” So, I wrote one out for cash and took it to the bank. The teller looks at me and says, “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t cash this due to insufficient funds.” What? Of course, they belonged to a Bill Gates living a couple blocks down the street just as broke as me. Yup, I’m the unluckiest bitch in the world.